I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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