Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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