And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
