like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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