Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
