i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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