I wish I could teleport
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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