i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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