Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Shame is for Republicans.
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