My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
