So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
