i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Green mimosas i think yes
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
