It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
