Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
