I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
