Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
