I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
