dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
