you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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