never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
