I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You smell like stripper and shame
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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