i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
