in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
