Nicole vs. Life
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
