He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
