Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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