im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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