Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
