Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
