i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
