she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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