STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
