the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
