I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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