end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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