I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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