I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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