I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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