quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
two words...techno handjob
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
