Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
