I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
