Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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