if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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