i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
