Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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