just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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