i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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