Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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