I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
