Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
