How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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