doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
