u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
